burning
CDs and home-printed posters
scans on Livejournal
sketchy software I found outline that airs Japanese cable
in stunningly shitty 240p quality
crouched in front of my laptop listening intently for context clues
Google Translate flying
piecing it all together as best i can
because if I miss something
i might never know
it’s always been burning
at my desk dreaming about a reality so far from my own
things I might never do
people I might never touch
I scramble and grasp for them throughout the day
shoving my earbuds in my ears
listening to voices i can only hope to hear in person someday
it’s always been burning
my adolescence, a constant chaos
fighting to breathe through the thick smoke billowing through my school and my home and my backyard
rushing to my bedroom at the end of the day
filled with a different smoke—
one of hairspray
and cotton candy perfume
and the hot air from my laptop
but at least now i can pretend to breathe