the boy from far leys
has appeared in my room
an apparition shrouded in purple haze
dressed in chelsea boots and high waters.
i sit up in bed
and the words pour out of me—
i am hoping to do better than my worst
find new ways of quenching my thirst
begging to recompense for what’s done
he can only give me short answers
that aren’t really answers at all—
soft nods and sad smiles cloaked in amitriptyline
words that don’t mean much to me
even if they normally do
desperation consumes me
the river in my head comes to a crest
and the only thing i can think to do is reach for him
his arms hang from my skirt
mine from his eyes
and we stay like that for a moment
clinging
the tears rush through lilac time
before he dissipates
into coins over my shoulder
that drip into the floorboards
my nights, cold by nature
always shivering and anxious
but in that moment, day had dawned
and it was beautiful